My first thought was, “Don’t do it.” But that seems a little cynical, even for a month devoted to inspiring the ire of single people everywhere with all the pink and red candy heart nonsense that appears on every flat surface in February, like a sudden infestation of boils on the landscape.

Still cynical. Oops. But dating is always tricky and throwing in a potential landmine of a holiday doesn’t make things easier.

There’s a Valentine’s Day sweet spot, where you’ve been dating long enough to merit plans but not so long that those plans are eating cheesesteak sandwiches on the couch while watching wrestling and wondering where the napkins are.

For the rest of us, we have to decide what a good Valentine’s Day means to us and how to help that happen. Maybe it has nothing to do with the current or hopeful beau. Maybe it means ignoring it completely. Maybe it means making plans with friends. Maybe it means a conversation of the, “Hey, I really like Valentine’s Day so let’s do something” ouevre.

The When-Valentine’s-Day-Is-Confusing Options

• Ignore It: This is any other day and you will proceed with your life under that assumption. No guilt, no wishing, just enjoying whatever you would be enjoying if that evening didn’t have expectations attached. If you’re dating someone and you want to be asked out, but you don’t want to bring it up yourself, it maybe time to try a little light voodoo magic. Good. Now, make yourself a backup plan.
• Bull-By-the-Horns: Buck up and ask your new beau out. Or firmly imply that you’d like him to make some plans. Or have a super up-front conversation about what you want. (My personal recommendation, though not always the easiest choice.) If you unabashedly love Valentine’s Day and anyone lucky enough to date should be proud to take you out – rock it, girl.
• Alternate Shenanigans: This tends to be the “we wish it was something different, but it’s not so we’ll make the best of it now by going to Vegas” option. Find some single friends and decide what you want to do with your collective awesome selves that evening. Glitter and vodka optional.

Whatever you choose, decide what you really, truly want – and make it happen.

Go.

If you’re single, how do you plan to spend Valentine’s Day?