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is a virtue so rare as to be worthy of canonization."
- Harriet Beecher Stowe
Five requirements for a smoother “I-do” transition (other than learning to share covers)
- Know that being in love and being in a marriage are two different things.
Here’s the reality: Things change once you’re married. Even couples who live together before tying the knot learn that relationship dynamics are just different once it’s official. There will be conversations you’ve never had before. About doing taxes. Retirement. When to have kids. Cleaning out the garage. There will be days where romance takes a back seat to practicality. And that’s OK. It doesn’t mean the lovey-dovey, hearts ‘n flowers side of love no longer exists, only that it’s now one of many dimensions to your relationship instead of the primary one. And with this shift comes a newfound security as you realize that discussing such non-romantic subject matter as dishwasher repairs means you two are actually in this for the long haul. So remember that during the moments things feel more domestic than Danielle Steele.
- Choose your battles.
In the beginning, your loved one can do no wrong. Following the vow swap, however, the ratio seems to gradually reverse until you are sieged by the nagging suspicion that once-faultless spouse of yours is now intentionally provoking you. (No way he left the mayonnaise on the counter by accident.) Your best plan of action? Learn to get over seventy-five percent of it. You’ll rapidly learn that marriage comes with more than its share of legitimate conflict. The harmony between you is best served by reserving energy for the conflicts that are necessary. While it may be tempting to go three rounds over a toilet seat that’s been left up, it’s important that the good experiences between the two of you outweigh the bad. You can help keep the scales tipped that way by knowing when to speak up—and when to stay mum.
- Accept that there is an adjustment period.
Every significant transition comes with a significant breaking in period. In other words, be prepared for a plethora of snafus, misunderstandings and less-than-eloquent exchanges. What’s more, know that it’s supposed to be this way. This isn’t a swapping-out-your-breakfast-cereal kind of change; it’s the I-joined-my-life-with-someone-else’s kind. In other words, it’s a big deal. Right now, you’re both learning not just new things about each other, but a new part of yourselves. What you look like with your “spouse” hat on. You’ll both struggle to break free of the “me, me, me” mindset from your single days. You’ll get on each other’s nerves and have no talent for concealing it. (That comes with practice.) You’ll even wonder if you’re actually cut out for this marriage stuff. What makes it a lot less traumatic is accepting the reality of a bumpy beginning as you both learn the ropes.
- Look for role models.
Today, marriages of longevity are a rare thing. If you’re committed to being one of the “lifers,” it’s important to find real-life examples. Whether it’s your parents, grandparents, a pastor and wife, or family friends, look for a couple with some serious years under their belt (twenty and up) and find out if they’ll let you pick their brain over lunch. Better yet, look for someone close enough that you can benefit from the “learn by watching” approach. You’ll learn a ton just by observing how they interact with each other, you’ll glean some gems to store away for the future and you’ll come away with the assurance that lasting, happy marriages aren’t just the stuff of fairy tales.
- Realize it’s not just you anymore.
This lesson sinks in quickly, if not gently. Right around the time your favorite TV show airs in the same slot as his. Ideally, you’ve been practicing this philosophy since you two got serious. But if you’re, in fact, selfish like the other ninety-nine percent of us, you’ve probably resisted the concept. Getting married leaves you with little choice. Now, your weekend plans, where you’ll vacation, and what color to paint the bedroom require a more democratic approach, meaning there’s whole other opinion to take into account. That doesn’t mean constantly giving in to the other person’s wishes. It means considering and valuing their take on the matter as much as your own. Learn to do this and do it graciously and your marriage will be all the better for it.
That, and, of course, your ability to share the covers.
I’m so bad at doing laundry, as long as soap and water get into that contraption in the basement and swirl around for a while I consider it a success. Between my two dogs, husband, one year old, and myself – stains are commonplace in my house. But the Tides are changing (see what I did there). From now on, if the clothes are good enough to wear, then they are good enough to keep stain free. Here are some tricks for removing tough stains:
The Culprit: Red wine
- The Cure: Sprinkle the stain with salt and submerge in cold water. Blot until the stain is gone and wash ASAP. If you’re in public (and thusly unable to remove your clothes) blot with club soda.
The Culprit: Ink
- The Cure: If the material is cotton, blot with alcohol. If the stain is on polyester, use hair spray. Blot and repeat.
The Culprit: Blood
- The Cure: If the blood is fresh, blot with cold water or an ice cube. If the blood is dried, use a 3 percent hydrogen-peroxide solution. If the blood is of Dexter proportions, forget the shirt and go to the ER.
The Culprit: Chewing Gum
- The Cure: Harden the gum with ice, then gently scrape off with a dull butter knife.
The Culprit: Strawberries
- The Cure: Pour boiling water over the stain until it is removed. You may find it helpful to place the garment over a bowl in order to effectively pour the boiling water over the stain.
The Culprit: Fabric Softener
- The Cure: Dampen the garment and rub with bar soap. Rinse and blot. You can substitute a stain remover for the bar soap.
The Culprit: Grass
- The Cure: Soak the garment in a mixture of cold water and laundry soap (or pre-treater) for 30 minutes. Repeat if stain is not removed.
In most of these cases, applying a stain remover like Zout before washing will ensure the stain is gone for good.
Remember these additional tips when removing stains:
- Blot NEVER rub a stain.
- Pre-treat as soon as possible
- Be gentle when removing stains
- Cold water is usually best
- Repeat the stain removal process until the stain is gone
- If possible, do not let the stain set in.
- A Tide to Go pen, or other portable stain remover is great to stash in a diaper bag or purse.
Like the saying goes, “stains happen.” Luckily, with some quick thinking and a few household cleaning products, stains don’t have to stick around.
We trust you to find biologically-inspired party paraphernalia and feather-strewn tiaras and drag queen-approved neon boas. We also trust you with the dancing and the shots. Or the dinner reservations and tasteful champagne cocktails. But once the party heads into the wee hours, we’ve got you covered.
It’s One In The Morning and You Need Some Serious Snacks
- Keebler Fudge-Dipped Pretzels, in convenient packs for tossing at liquored-up bridesmaids.
- Spicy Nacho Doritos, because they taste like tiny chips of heaven after tequila shots. You’ll need several bags.
- Rice Krispies Treats, crunchy and sticky and always a huge hit at 2 a.m.
- Chex Mix Bold Party Blend, the crack of snacks.
- Annie’s Snickerdoodle Bunny Cookies, gluten-free because there’s always one friend with random dietary needs).
- Baked Lentil Chips with Cracked Pepper and Sea Salt, because the gluten-free soon-to-be sister-in-law probably won’t touch the Doritos.
- Walkers Shortbread, delicious with bourbon.
Songs That Go Well With Tequila, Songs That Probably Won’t Get Any Air Time at the Reception
- Ke$ha: Tik Tok
- Black Eyed Peas: I Gotta Feelin’
- The Ting Tings: Great DJ
- Beyonce: Girls
- Wale and Lady Gaga: Chillin’
- Katy Perry: Hot ‘n’ Cold
- Fergie: Fergalicious
- Nicki Minaj: Super Bass
- Flo Rida: Good Feeling
- Or make life easy and just download Girl Talk for hours of party music – my favorites are Feed the Animals and All Day.
Don’t Forget the Aftermath. Or Aftershock. Or, In Layman’s Terms, The Hangover.
- Neutrogena makeup remover, cleansing towelettes.
- Super C Recovery, vitamin and mineral drink with acai.
- Now is not the time for a balanced breakfast. You will probably get omelets and hash browns and bacon later, but to get you as far as brunch you need chewy chocolate mocha Fiber One bars.
- Also, Starbucks Breakfast Blend. Ground, because no one wants to listen to – or have to find – the grinder after all that tequila and Nicki Minaj.
I like to be comfortable, but I don’t like to look like a slob. Isn’t this the plight of so many modern women? If you’re like me, and wish yoga pants were a fashion statement, but still try to leave the house looking clean and polished, then jeans and a t-shirt are likely your go-to combination. Still, if you’re wearing the same ripped jeans and old t-shirt every chance you get, you could be in need of a style revamp. While there’s nothing wrong with a classic, it is important to add a little variation to your wardrobe to keep things fresh. Here are some tips for dressing up a classic t-shirt and jeans combination.
- Dress it up.
Kitten heels and a flirty blouse are perfect with wide leg or skinny jeans, and everything in between. By adding a feminine top and dressier heels you’ll make the old classic new, while still keeping it casual.
- Funk it up.
Jewelry is a great way to dress up a t-shirt and jeans. Pair a vintage (read: old) pair of jeans with a fitted t-shirt and finish the look with bohemian earrings or some bright colored bangles. Long necklaces with pendants are also a great way to make this look funky. Don’t be afraid to experiment with more than one piece of jewelry.
- Change it up.
“T-shirt” doesn’t have to translate to, “old shirt I got for free at a basketball game.” There are plenty of variations to liven up your wardrobe. From an oversized army green t-shirt for a casual look, to a more fitted tee in a pastel color, to a vintage or patterned t-shirt, there are so many ways to express yourself while still rocking a jeans and t-shirt combination.
- Belt it up.
I’m so glad stylish belts have made a comeback – and are still going strong! Cinch your waist by pairing an oversized t-shirt with a tiny belt for a more polished, styled look that’s great for day or night.
- Roll it up.
Experiment with how you wear your jeans. Neatly cuffing them, or haphazardly rolling them – there are a million ways to make one pair of jeans several different looks. Combine a messier roll with an oversized tee, or a neat cuff with dainty flats.
Here are some additional quick tips for how to liven up your jeans and t-shirt:
- Patterned flats
- Beaded sandals
- A long side-ponytail or messy braid
- A vintage clutch or cross body purse
Craving comfort doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice style. Mix and match these looks for a combination that matches your personality. Stay comfortable while looking great all season long.
Did you know? May Is Celiac Disease Awareness Month and we’ve got you covered!
- Celiac disease is an autoimmune condition that damages intestinal walls and means your body can’t tolerate gluten, the natural proteins found in wheat, barley and rye.
- 18-20 million Americans are gluten sensitive and over 15 million follow a gluten-free diet.
- Over three million Americans have Celiac Disease.
- 97 percent of those people are undiagnosed.
- It affects one in 133 adults and children.
Here’s What It Might Mean To You
Symptoms of Celiac disease and gluten sensitivity include bloating, abdominal discomfort, headaches, lethargy, attention-deficit disorder and hyperactivity.
If a person with celiac disease eats gluten, the lining of their small intestine becomes inflamed and damaged. That hampers the absorption of nutrients and can lead to malnutrition and weight loss.
If you’ve suffered from any of these things and aren’t sure why, it is important to see a doctor for celiac testing before starting any gluten-free diet. Not eating gluten and then getting tested may result in a false negative.
What to Do
Those who follow a gluten free diet have an increased need for supplementation. Most gluten free foods are not fortified. Celiac also causes malabsorption of vitamins and minerals due to damage to the lower intestine. These may include Calcium and Vitamin D3, Iron, B Vitamins, especially folate, B6, B-12 and Fiber.
- 1. Folic Acid
Folate levels are lower in gluten-free products, works with B12 to make and maintain cells.
- 2. Vitamin B12
B12 deficiency is common, increasing with age, but even more common in Celiac. Some studies show a direct correlation between Celiac and B12 deficiency.
- 3. Vitamin B6
Involved in over 100 enzyme reactions, mostly protein metabolism. Those with Celiac absorb less of the B6.
- 4. Vitamin D
Very important for absorption of calcium. Decrease in the function of the upper intestines, common in Celiac, can compromise vitamin D activity and function and therefore absorption of adequate calcium. Vitamin D also supports the immune system and may also reduce inflammation in the intestinal tract.
Bone disorders are common in celiac disease with osteoporosis in over 25% of all patients at time of Celiac diagnosis and 40% with osteopenia. Risk of fracture is 30% higher. Many who follow a gluten free diet are also dairy free or lactose intolerant, making it even more difficult to get adequate calcium.
- 6. Iron
Iron deficiency anemia is the most common extra-intestinal symptom of Celiac. May be corrected after following a gluten free diet. Always get tested before taking an iron supplement and take at least 2 hours apart from a Calcium supplement.
- 7. Fiber
Often a gluten free diet is lacking in fiber as well, especially if completely grain free. A prebiotic fiber may be helpful for both providing added fiber and growth of good bacteria.
All Wellesse Supplements are certified Gluten Free by the Gluten Free Certification Organization, gfco.org. *These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.
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